What Is Home?

The ocean has been a part of my life throughout my childhood and adult life until my husband and I decided to move to the mountains of Utah to continue our careers and begin our family at the age of 35.

But there is something about the smells of HOME that brings forth deep seeded memories of time spent long ago that somehow attach themselves to emotions. In the article The Nose Knows: Experts discuss the science of smell and how scent, emotion, and memory are intertwined (Harvard Gazette, Colleen Walsh, 2/27/2020), a sensory experience that triggers a rush of memories often long past, or even seemingly forgotten.

For French author Marcel Proust, who penned the legendary lines in his 1913 novel, “À la recherche du temps perdu,” it was the soupçon of cake in tea that sent his mind reeling. (I added Marcel’s quote to honor my friend Scott Moore who lives in France and who most likely loves tea and cake!) 

Humans have a complex relationship with the ocean. The ocean affects every human life. It supplies freshwater and oxygen, moderates the climate, influences our weather, and affects human health. 

This is what the ocean provides me:
a smell of home. 

Now don’t get me wrong, Michael and I intended to move to mountains NOT just for career opportunities, but because we each loved the mountains and ALL the activities they provided for us. Our passion for teaching our children rock climbing and skiing were intertwined with these desires. I LOVE that I can arrive at a trailhead 10 min from my home and explore nature’s wonders within time constraints  of busy schedules surrounding child rearing and community service careers. 

I LOVE the smell of pine trees wholeheartedly!

Michael and I have often wondered, “Will we return to the ocean?” We’ve raised our children and we’ll be retiring within 2-5 years. Where shall we live the final third of our lifetime?

Sometimes I feel like we return home to heal parts of our life that were difficult. So… where is home?

The return to our ancestral ways also means respecting the interconnectedness of all things and ensuring reciprocity with the natural world. I’ve written about the connectedness of Body, Mind and Spirit and now I would like to add Relations. Here is a schematic of what I’m referring to:

Returning to Our Roots: Tribal Health and Wellness through Land-Based Healing (Johnson-Jennings M, Billiot S, Walters K. Returning to Our Roots: Tribal Health and Wellness through Land-Based Healing. Genealogy. 2020; 4(3):91. https://doi.org/10.3390/genealogy4030091)

 Overall, this study found that land can serve as a feasible therapeutic site for healing through reconnecting Houma tribal citizens to both ancestral knowledge and stories of resilience, as well as viewing self as part of a larger collective. These findings also imply that revisiting historically traumatic places encourages renewed commitment to cultural continuity and health behaviors—particularly when these places are approached relationally, with ceremony, and traumatic events tied to these places, including climate change and environmental/land trauma, are acknowledged along with the love the ancestors held for future generations.

In other words, Returning to Our Roots to Rebuild Our Futures

What if building your home helps rebuild your childhood so that you can build your future? (Now, be patient with me during the next series of paragraphs…)

I met President Jimmy Carter during a book signing at the Barnes and Noble in Sugarhouse Our Endangered Values: America's Moral Crisis 2005. I have always taken the stance that Jimmy Carter’s gift to our world did not lie in his presidency but rather his presence. 

Our Endangered Values took the position of Carter describing his reactions to recent disturbing societal trends that involved both religious and political worlds as they increasingly intertwine and include some of the most crucial and controversial issues of the day.

I remember waiting outside the Barnes and Noble bookstore on a cold blustery day during a Fall afternoon. The line outside the building included an eclectic crowd. Listening to the banter of book lovers was as entertaining and educational as the event that brought us here in the first place. Security was very tight even before the entourage of black SUVs had arrived, but to get a chance of purchasing a book and getting it signed, we had to start lining up early. Michael was on childcare duty and I stood in line outside for hours. Somehow, none of this bothered me. 

Recalling the date, 2005, I was now officially bald as a result of my chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer. I had completed my chemo regimen and was now entering my radiation treatments. Radiation weakened my stamina, but I held true to my own personal ‘pick-me-up’ remedies such as green tea, attending yoga classes with regularity, and eating whole foods with plenty of nutrients. I still appeared as a walking alien creature with no eyebrows or eyelashes, but my personality was strong and I continued to wear bright colored clothing.

When I approached President Carter, I had enough books in hand for my entire extended family. I was seriously hoping he would not be upset with my own haul of books for a requested autograph of each book. Delightfully, he wasn’t!  In fact, he took the time to chat with me just a bit. His secret servicemen made sure to keep us moving along, but he allowed the opportunity of brief conversation. I asked him about his daughter and wife. He asked how I was doing. (apparently my concealing attempt of bright colored clothing didn’t completely hide a bald head and face, thus revealing my ‘secret’) Our exchange of dialogue lasted throughout the signing of all my purchased books. He wrote “J-i-m-m-y C-a-r-t-e-r” and not “J—--scribble C—--scribble.” This, I found to be impressive,

What impressed me the most about President Carter was/is his intention around “HOME” and his collaboration with the Fuller Family toward the expansion, raised awareness and personal involvement with Habitat for Humanity. 

Together with families who desire a better life, Habitat for Humanity helps people build better lives for themselves and their children. In addition, the families help to build a world where everyone has a decent place to live. I read that Habitat now works in all 50 states in the U.S. and in more than 70 countries and has helped more than 39 million people achieve strength, stability and independence through safe, decent and affordable shelter.

Home is a place beyond door stops and deadbolts. Home is a familiar place to restore a sense of peace

“Home is where the heart can laugh without shyness. Home is where the heart’s tears can dry at their own pace.” – Vernon Baker, First Lieutenant in U.S. Army who earned the Purple Heart, Bronze Star and Distinguished Service Cross and is the only living Black WWII veteran to earn the Medal of Honor.

As I began, I returned to the ocean this Spring Break with the initial intent to escort my mom to a doctor’s appointment where her doctor would continue basal cell carcinoma extraction on specific spots on her face, a process we began last October.) Over the past year, mom has had several medical interventions which span in seriousness from hip replacement to skin cancer, all the while managing her own lymphedema in her left arm resulting from a radical mastectomy in 1999. I don’t mind spending my quarterly breaks from education at home by the ocean. It's simply the right thing to do in my mind. 

I meet up with my mom’s neighbors and attend yoga and fitness classes at her local gym. The other day, I walked in after being in SLC for 5 months and Tory, the front desk employee, greeted me with, “Hi Amy, welcome back!” “OH MY GOD!” I responded with enthusiasm, “YOU are good at your job!” As someone who mixes up my 5th graders names repeatedly, Kudos to Tory for remembering me- a way-farer Central Coast fitness attendee!

In reference to HOME and FOOD, I found a quote from Te Tui Shortland (Māori) who wrote, “Seed is not a commodity; it is the source of life. Gardens and forests are seed sanctuaries. When you respect the seed, you are connected to the sacred thread that connects us all.”